Finding Your Mate

Using smell select the right mate.

Our primal need for a mate fuels a multi-million dollar industry of singles bars, match-making services, lonely hearts aids and online dating. It does not seem to matter which path we choose to find our mate only about a quarter found what they were looking for. This seems to be across the board: single women, single men, Asian dating, military dating, Christian dating, interracial dating, the whole gambit.

This is not surprising - mate selection is a complex process. Part of the process is conscious awareness and part of it is unconscious to us.

The conscious part is straightforward. Men tend to desire women with apparent attributes of attractiveness, youth, intelligence and fertility (low waist to hip ratio, full lips, soft facial features). Women tend to desire men exhibiting broad shoulders, great abs and six packs, clear skin, wealth or at least the ability to acquire it, and intelligence. To sum up, both sexes want: beauty, brains & resources.

On the whole people tend to fall for others who, on attractiveness, intelligence and "status", are similar to themselves. For us mere mortals, it is a waste of time pursuing the super mates like Angelina Jolie or George Clooney who are only accessible to a few

The subconscious part is more interesting. There is the gene set called the major histocompatibility complex (MHC). This suite of genes enables us to fight foreign bodies among other things. Mates with dissimilar MHC genes produce healthier offspring with broad immune systems. So how do you find people that have a dissimilar MHC? A DNA test is one way but expensive. Trust your instincts, get in close and have a good sniff. This is why the first meeting after online dating is so important or you have a raised your body heat on the dance floor - the conscious selection is done (you are dancing or you are chatting), the unconscious process needs to be satisfied.

There is a wee problem out there for women, modern hormonal contraceptives throw out your nose for dissimilar MHC mates and points you in the direction of similar ones. Best advice smell first then go on the pill or maybe you don't need to go on the pill after all- trust your instincts.

Who we finally fall in love with is going to be the result of a mixture of factors. The right place at the right time, the plethora of physical and person characteristics written on the form at a speed dating event, the day of our menstrual cycle, their looks and their smell. One thing is for sure there is a special someone out there and almost certainly there is more than one.

I am a scientist by training and I met my partner on the Internet, we are still together. I do not remember giving her the sniff test - that's what subconsciousness is all about. Visit my website where other articles are written on the science side of the mating game.

All the very best.

Please use material in this article for your small talk and get a smile:

http://www.singledatingservices.org